Why I Chose to Have More Kids

 “Don’t curse what God has called good.”

For nine years, we were sitting comfortably as a family of four. After our second child, I was adamant that we had enough kids. I didn’t want to go through those early years again—the sleepless nights and the sticky tantrums of a toddler. However, the boss always wanted to leave the door open for more children.

As we inched closer to what is considered advanced maternal age, we knew we had to make a decision: either swing the door wide open or close it for good. Anyone who knew me during this season could tell you it would take a miracle for my heart to desire another child and a miracle it was.

The year I was teaching high school Bible, this question loomed in my personal life. I was preparing a lesson on the value God places on life: how He knits us together in our mothers' wombs, knowing our gifting and purpose even before we take our first breath.  I watched videos (like this) of the absolute miracle that takes place when a baby is formed.  Literal light flashes in the womb and a celebration occurs, everything needed to form life is present. 

My research took me down a rabbit trail that also led to the topic of abortion. I wrestled with the question: How did we get to the point where life is often dismissed as just a “clump of cells”?  Conviction hit me hard, I felt the Lord gently pointing a finger at my own heart.

❓ Have I not, at times, thought of and complained about children being a burden? Do I see birthing, raising, and discipling children the way the Lord does? Have I truly valued motherhood for the gift and calling that it is?

When we look at the order of creation, children were not an afterthought or a consequence of the fall. After creating male and female, God gave this command:

“God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’” – Genesis 1:28

Children are a blessing (Psalm 127:3-5). They are a part of God’s purpose for marriage.

As I pondered these truths and as I honestly answered the questions, I wept.  I saw my selfishness and how I had minimized something God calls a blessing. These were my regrets:

• I complained far too often about the demands of motherhood.

• I was double-minded, as James 1:8 describes, which led to unstable ways. By failing to fully value motherhood, I sought to find my worth in other pursuits.

• I was always looking ahead to the next season and didn't savor and appreciate the little moments.

I repented to the Lord and shared my change of heart with the boss.  After nine years and shortly after our decision to have another, we found out we were expecting baby V. Two years later, we joyfully welcomed baby J into our lives. People say I’m crazy, but if God blessed us with another, I’d joyfully welcome that little bundle as well.

Life is a miracle, and so is the transformation of a heart.

🙏🏻Prayer from snippets of Psalm 139, Matthew 21:19-20, Proverbs 22:6, Galatians 6:9 

Lord, no matter the season of life I am in or whether I have my own children I proclaim that children are a blessing. For you formed these little lives in and their inward parts; you wove them together in the womb. I give you thanks because each child you have created is fearfully and wonderfully made. When I see them I will see your wonderful works. How precious are your thoughts about these little ones, O God! 

We are all called to go everywhere in the world and tell the good news, especially to the children. As a mom or spiritual mom, help me to train your little ones in the way they should go so when they grow old they will not depart from it. May I not grow weary in doing this good work, for at proper time there will be a harvest if I don’t give up. Thank you for the blessing of children and for the joy and laughter they bring.

📖A book that I wish was available when I had my first two:

Hard is not the Same thing as Bad