“Don’t curse what God has called good.”
We've been married for more than fifteen years, and a while ago, the band on my engagement ring snapped. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving it with just any jeweler overnight—too worried about my diamonds being swapped out—so my engagement ring went into a drawer until I could decide what to do with it. Should I reset it with a gold band? Or replace it entirely with a new ring? In the meantime, I wore a dainty $20 ring I found on Etsy.
A few days before Christmas, I got a call from the boss asking for my ring size. I immediately knew what was happening. But what surprised me was how excited I was at the thought of what kind of ring he would pick. Thirty-something me felt giddy, like the twenty-two-year-old I once was, standing on top of a mountain, just having said "yes"!
On Christmas morning, in my Grinch pajamas, I opened the most beautiful, perfect ring—a single round-cut diamond set on a delicate band. That man knows me so well, he picked out the exact ring I would have chosen for myself. It was like being proposed to all over again. As I did in my twenties, I find myself staring at the ring with gratitude, in awe that I get to spend the rest of my life with that handsome man. Beyond the beauty of the ring, what makes this moment meaningful are the words of honor he spoke and the sentiment of the gift.
How do people grow more in love year after year? In our marriage it is with God’s view as the foundation:
Marriage is good.
At the end of creation, God made many things, including male and female. The first chapter of Genesis ends with, “And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” He created them in His image (Gen 1:27), and in the garden, man and woman were both naked and unashamed (Gen 2:25). The first marriage—and God said, "It is very good."
Good doesn’t mean perfect. My marriage is not perfect, but it is good. We’ve gotten here by surrendering, repenting over the bad, and calling out the good. We’ve gotten here by choosing not to curse our relationship or one another.
As I dive into Genesis, I’ve been reflecting on the things God has called good and renewing any thoughts that don’t align with His Word. I’m letting conviction and reflection ring in the new year, starting with marriage.
What words of blessing can I speak over my marriage?
What good qualities do I see in our relationship?
How do I want to see our marriage grow and flourish?
How do I want to see God use my marriage to bless others?
What good qualities do I see in my husband?
When can I speak these out loud or write them down for him?
What areas of growth do I see in him, and how can I encourage him in those areas
In what areas am I overly critical of my husband?
Are there times when I’m more vulnerable to verbal negativity (like when I’m tired, hungry, or anxious)? How can I recognize those moments quickly and change course?
Is there anything I need to apologize for, something I’ve said or done?
Do I compare my marriage or my spouse to others?
Am I critical of my spouse to others?
I challenge you (and myself) to take time to answer these questions, realign our thoughts, and speak blessing over our marriages. Let’s commit to calling out the good in our relationships and our spouses, letting words of life transform us in the new year.
Prayer from a snippet of Proverbs 31:
Lord, I thank you for my marriage and my husband. Take any thoughts that are not edifying captive and make them obedient to you so I can open my mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness will be on my tongue. Show me how to win the heart of my husband so his heart trusts in me, and he will have no lack of gain. I want to bring him good not harm all the days of his life. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Upcoming in “Don’t Curse What God Has Called Good” Series:
Atmosphere (Home)
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