There is Purpose in Pain

 “Shall we actually accept good from God but not accept adversity?”

Job 2:10

Suggested reading: Genesis 15

The first dream the Lord used to speak to me happened on January 10, 2019. It was a dream that felt so real, with a distinct message that compelled me to wake up in the middle of the night to write it all down. The dream highlighted a hole in my faith, carried a message of comfort, and unknowingly foreshadowed a reality that would unfold before the end of the year.

Our church at the time held a yearly Christmas party for women called Favorite Things. It was a giant gift exchange with delicious food, fellowship, and a faith-building word delivered by a speaker. In the dream, I was the speaker, preaching an encouraging word to the women. The message was anchored on Romans 8:28:

“And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Standing before a room full of women, I confessed that I struggled to trust God with ALL THINGS. I could see His hand in my past and generally trusted Him with my present. However, I was riddled with anxiety about my future. My future was the part of the “ALL” that left me unsettled.

I woke up, wrote down the message I had preached in the dream, and began to question its significance. Was this dream related to my recent diagnosis and battle for remission with ulcerative colitis? What areas of my future was I fearful of? What I did not see coming was the great challenge of 2019 that would refine me as I walked through the fire.

📖 In Genesis 15, God lavishly speaks promises of future blessings to Abram. He promised him a son, a nation, and a land flowing with milk and honey. However, following this vision of blessing came a dark dream. God said to Abram:

“Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, where they will be enslaved and oppressed for four hundred years.”

After giving Abram a rich vision of his future, why would God tell him of the grave hardship his people would face? I believe one reason is so Abram’s people would not doubt God’s sovereignty or promises when they faced this enslavement. As Abram passed this dream down for four generations, his people would be able to endure because they knew God would “judge the nation and they will come out with many possessions” (verse 14). God is so good that He uses dreams to give us insight into what is to come so we can put our trust in Him.

A few weeks after having my dream, we found out the boss would be deploying, and we would be separated for six months. The dream was God’s gentle whisper to trust Him with what was to come because He would work all things out for our good. Even though we had experienced three deployments in the past, this one was the most challenging of all. Romans 8:28 became my declaration, and THIS song of God’s goodness became my anthem.

This deployment taught me to trust God with my future, to trust Him when things were falling apart and I couldn’t see how they would work out. I learned to quiet fear with Scripture and to lean on others when I was weak. The dream and its message brought me comfort, reminding me that God is sovereign. He knew what was to come and would walk with me through it.

In my dream, I was preaching a message of trust from Romans 8:28.  By the end of the year, in December, I found myself sharing this word at the Christmas Favorite Things party.  What I did not see in my dream was the Scripture that concluded this season and that message. Trusting God with my future required me to surrender it all. I shared the words of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego when faced with the order to worship an idol or be thrown into the fiery furnace:

“If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Daniel‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬-‭18‬

Even if my faith wavered during the deployment and with my health battle, I chose not to bow to anxiety and fear because I knew the Lord would deliver me. I trust that God will work ALL things for my good.

❓Reflection Questions:

1. Do I trust that God will work all things out for my good?

2. What areas of life do I struggle to put my trust in him?

3. What idols do I lean on in place of God. 

🙏🏻 Prayer

Lord, your word says that in this life we will have trouble and I thank you that you are a God who prepares us for these valleys of life.   I surrender my doubts and ask that you help me with my unbelief when I cannot see a way out.  You reassure me that even when everything feels like it is falling apart, you are there with me.  You are my rock and my salvation, my defense and I will not be moved.  Even if things do not go the way I expect I refuse to bow down to fear and anxiety and I put my trust in you.  Renew my thoughts, adjust my heart to align with yours, and guide my actions.  May your will be done in my life.  

Obedience Like Noah

📖 Suggested Bible Reading: Genesis 6-7

I did not have a “traditional” childhood. Though there were happy memories, many seasons were marked by instability, heartache, and confusion. By the time I reached my teen years, I was an honor student living a hidden life of rebellion. Tangled with the wrong crowd and feeling lost at fifteen, I transferred to a high school across town for a fresh start.

Through God’s providence, the first class I stepped into was biology, and the only open seat was next to a super-duper Christian girl named Jeanine. That one encounter changed the trajectory of my entire life. Jeanine persistently invited me to church and showed me grace and love despite all my rough edges. I rejected the idea of a relationship with Jesus over and over until I hit rock bottom. At sixteen, I was broken in ways only the One who created me could restore.

I cried out that I needed help.  I was giving him my heart, BE MY SAVIOR.  In a tearful prayer I told God that the next guy I date had to be the one I marry.  I was giving him my dreams, BE MY LORD.  A few weeks later, I met the boss and he became the man I married. Though my Christian walk has been imperfect, God has remained faithful for over two decades, and following His word has never led me astray.  In many ways, I felt like Noah, hungry to hear God's instructions on how to build my life.

In a time without the written scriptures, Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord (Genesis 6:8). He walked with God (Genesis 6:9) and received His instruction. What God asked Noah to do was radical build an ark in a land where rain was rare. Yet, one defining characteristic of Noah was his obedience. The Bible repeatedly emphasizes:

"Noah did according to all that the Lord had commanded him." – Genesis 7:5

God saw Noah’s heart and established a covenant with him, saying, “You shall enter the ark you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you.” Noah’s family worked together in unity to build the ark, an act of faith that would save their lives and fulfill God’s plan (Genesis 7:13).

(Photo taken at the Ark Encounter)

When I surrendered my life to God, I didn’t know how to read the Bible, but I was determined to learn. The words of Jesus proved true in my life:

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you." – Matthew 7:7

Just as Noah received divine instructions, I did also through reading, studying, and the guidance of those who discipled me.

Married at the ripe age of twenty-three, I longed to build a home (an ark) that would be a sanctuary from the outside world.  I wanted traditions that pointed us back to God. My deepest desire was to have a family of faith and obedience.

Growing up, I knew about the God of religion, but somewhere along the way, He became my everything. 

His ways became the foundation of my world.

His presence, the anchor in life's storms.

His words, the compass guiding my decisions.

His rod and staff my discipline and redirection.

He is the source of my joy, strength, peace, and purpose.

Apart from Him, I can do nothing. Every good thing in my life has come from Him.

❓Reflection Questions

• Is God my Lord and Savior? What does it truly mean for Him to be Lord of my life?

• In what area of my life am I hungry to hear from God?

• Is there an area of my life that I have not yet surrendered to Him?

🙏🏻 Prayer

Lord, Noah was found righteous in Your sight because he obeyed all that You commanded him. May we be a family that delights in Your word and meditates on it day and night.  Tune our ears to hear from you.  Give us a hunger for your word.  When You give us instruction, help us to be obedient and walk in Your ways.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

The Year I Confronted Anger

📖 Suggested Bible Reading: Genesis 4

Year seven. The year of marriage and motherhood that I distinctly remember my anger reaching its boiling point. My explosive outbursts shook the house with loud yells, crude words, followed by tears of regret and sheepish apologies to those I had hurt. Why was I so angry?

I was angry when the messes piled high, leaving me feeling out of control.

Angry when plans changed.

Angry when I was misunderstood.

Angry when it felt like no one was listening.

Angry when expectations weren’t met.

Angry when gossip about me was shared.

Angry when I was corrected, exposing my pride for all to see.

Regardless of the reason, the anger that resulted in sin was out of control. But in His goodness, God opened my eyes to see my little ones mimicking my tone when they were frustrated or upset, and it broke my heart into pieces.  They became a mirror, showing me the warning I needed.

📖 In the story of Cain and Abel, when God rejected Cain’s sacrifice, Cain became very angry, and his countenance fell. 

 “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”
—Genesis 4:6-7

Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, He attempted to warn Cain. Like Cain, when we fail to master our desires and emotions, sin crouches at our door, waiting to take hold. Cain ignored God’s warning, and in his anger, he killed his brother.

Just as Cain’s sin killed his brother’s physical body, the words we speak in anger or wrath bring emotional and spiritual death. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Jesus even equates anger with a brother or sister to murder (Matthew 5:21-22).

Year seven was the year I heeded God’s warning, grieved my sin of anger, and cried out for help. I devoured books on anger, listened to countless sermons, and implemented practical tools to recognize my triggers. I began to uproot and heal from childhood wounds and in His grace, the Lord humbled me. I began to welcome His discipline and surrender my anger to Him.

My family knows that anger is the thorn in my side, the sin I long to master. It’s the sin I try to recognize before it destroys, and while it occurs less frequently now, when it does I quickly repent.  Anger is no longer a master in my life. 

❓ Reflection questions

Do I receive the Lord’s correction (or others correction) with a humble heart open to repent?

Is there sin that God is trying to warn me of? (lust, gluttony, pride, sloth, wrath, greed, envy)

How does this sin manifest in my life?  What triggers it?

Who does it affect and what are the consequences?  What destruction is it causing?

How does God want to help me overcome this sin?

🙏🏻 Prayer

Lord, I thank you for your times of correction in my life because you care for me.  Sin separates me from you and others.  It brings about destruction by stealing, killing, and destroying your blessings.  When things are not going my way, sin is crouching at my door and its desire is for me.  Help me to recognize these moments quickly so I can pause and step away.  My desire is to master anger by being quick to listen and slow to speak.  I  give the offenses that others commit against me to you because justice is in your hands. Cleanse my heart of bitterness as I forgive others as you have forgiven me.  Show me how to have the right expectations of people and situations.  I ask that you restore any relationships that have been hindered or destroyed by anger.  In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

📖 Resource

Uprooting Anger