Shabbat Preparation: Planning with Heart and Intention

 "A Martha becomes a Mary on Shabbat."

-Rabbi Greg Hershberg

The first thing I prepare when hosting a party or Shabbat dinner isn’t the food, it’s my heart. There were countless times when my family lived in quiet misery because I carried unrealistic expectations without a solid plan. I'd be frantically cooking, angrily cleaning, and barking orders. We’d all regroup and force smiles before the door opened, only to end the evening with bitterness as part of the mess we had to clean up.

It’s hard to enjoy a sacred meal when I come to the table with a prideful “I did all the work” attitude, while everyone else walks on eggshells, eating guiltily. In a home where chaos reigns and planning is absent, even daily cooking or hosting can become a burden instead of a blessing.

Over time, I learned that rest comes more easily when it’s preceded by preparation. Creating a written plan freed my mind from stress, provided direction, and allowed me to pivot when things didn’t go as expected. A plan gave everyone clarity: what needs to be done, who’s doing what and by when. It also helped us spread the workload across days instead of cramming everything into one overwhelming sprint.

In Exodus, we see this kind of intentional preparation tied to the first Shabbat meal:

“Now on the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers for each one… ‘This is what the Lord meant: Tomorrow is a Sabbath observance, a holy Sabbath to the Lord. Bake what you will bake and boil what you will boil, and all that is left over put aside to be kept until morning.’ So they put it aside until morning, as Moses had ordered, and it did not stink nor was there a maggot in it.” — Exodus 16:22–24

There was planning and purpose. They gathered extra and prepared it ahead of time. The Lord preserved what they had prepared in honor of the Sabbath.

When I prepare for Shabbat, I now do so both physically and spiritually. I block out the day on our calendar and avoid scheduling anything else that might compete with it. I spend time in Scripture throughout the week so I can share what God has been showing me. I see it as gathering spiritual manna to nourish my family not just with food, but with truth.

Planning the meal and setting the table in advance allows me to enter dinner undistracted and present. What once felt like a chaotic scramble is now a rhythm and a ritual that brings peace to our home. When we sit at the table with the candles lit, we soak in the beauty and meaning of each sacrament.

Here are the elements we include on our Shabbat table and what they represent:

Candles
Two candles represent the dual command to remember and observe the Sabbath (Exodus 20:8). Lighting them marks a shift from busyness into sacred rest, inviting God’s peace, joy and the presence of the Holy Spirit who is often symbolized by fire into our home. The prayer reminds us that we are called to be light in the world. Traditionally, the woman of the house lights the candles, as she is seen as the creator of a joy fiilled, serene home.

Tzedakah Box
Tzedakah means charity, with roots in justice and righteousness. This box reminds us that we give because we’ve been blessed and giving is a joyful, moral obligation.  This box reminds us that God has blessed us and we have so that we can give.  

Grape Juice
Wine or juice sets the tone for celebration. It symbolizes God’s provision and reminds us of Jesus, who shed His blood as atonement for our sins.

Wipes (Handwashing)
Most households probably use a bowl with water and a towel, but in our household we pass the wipes to signify the handwashing.  Some, including myself, see the Shabbat table as a symbol of the altar and the handwashing as a way to prepare to partake in a sacred meal. It reminds us that Jesus washes away the sins of the world.

Bread (Challah)
The Challah is particularly special to me because I love preparing it. Challah holds deep significance. Traditionally, women pray over the dough as they knead, interceding for those who will eat. Two loaves represent the double portion of manna given before Shabbat in the wilderness. The braided form symbolizes unity, and the bread itself is a reminder of Jesus, who gave His body for us.

For more details of how I plan for the Shabbat meal check back in next week. 

For a brief overview of Significance, overview and printout of the prayers you can click on the link HERE.

Fighting Secular Drift with Sacred Tradition

I recently listened to a seminar where the speaker explained how secularism has subtly infiltrated the church and how we can identify its effects. Secularism in the church is often marked by a shift away from core theological truths and spiritual growth, toward worldly metrics of success. It starts when beauty is stripped away, then goodness, and finally truth.

❓I left the seminar with a deeper question: How has secularism crept into our homes?

Have we, knowingly or unknowingly, ejected God, sacred rhythms, and holy practices from our everyday life? Have we replaced reverence with achievement and worship with busyness?

Our homes are meant to be holy, set apart as sanctuaries from the noise and hardship of the world. God is not confined to the church and He desires to dwell with us, right in our kitchens, living rooms, and around our tables.

In Matthew 22, Jesus shares the greatest commandment, quoting from Deuteronomy 6, which offers repeated instructions for worship:

“Hear, Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be in your heart.  And you shall repeat them diligently to your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk on the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.  You shall also tie them as a sign to your hand, and they shall be as frontlets on your forehead.  You shall also write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

- Deuteronomy 6:4-9

This command shows the individual responsibility to care for our relationship with God.  Our worship is lived out in ordinary moments. It repeats the importance of communal worship in the family.  We are called to cultivate love for God in the home.  Our responsibility as parents to pass on the word and introduce our children to their heavenly Father.  

❓How do we bring heaven into our homes? How do we draw near to God, and invite our children to do the same?

For our family, one way we do this is through weekly Shabbat dinners. Practicing Shabbat is less about ritual and more about posture.  It’s not a “have to,” but a “get to.” It's a sacred rhythm that refreshes us, connects us, and centers us on our Creator.

The Significance of Shabbat

Shabbat points us in three directions:

Past, as we remember God as Creator.
Present, as we receive His gift of rest.
Future, as we look ahead to our eternal rest in Him.

How We Prepare

We choose one nght out of the week. Friday nights in the summer, Thursday nights during the school year because of sports. We clean the house and set the table with candles, fresh flower, and nice dishes. I try to cook a meal everyone loves. Dessert is a must, and when I'm able I'll bake cinnamon crunch challah which is our family favorite.

Shabbat Prayers 

Due to my full hands with babies, right now we aim to do a full Shabbat at the beginning of each quarter.  We read all the  prayers, have communion, and share a scripture passage.  As shown below, after each element is done a prayer is said.  We light candles, lay hands on each other in prayer, place coins in the Tzedakah box, drink sparkling grape juice, wash hands, and break the challah. The “ritual” ends with a blessing over the meal, typically prayed by the boss. You can download the prayer printout HERE and feel free to add to or customize it.

Making It Meaningful

For special occasions such as birthdays, school milestones, we incorporate relevant prayers or passages. Each week, we read a short scripture and share. Sometimes, we pause to repent, pray for others, worship, or pray over requests.

Sharing Shabbat

We occasionally invite others to join us.  Nowadays, we invite people to church to meet God, but for centuries, the Shabbat meal and to the table was where people were invited to.  

With my love for food and gathering, planning and partaking in Shabbat is a joy.  It’s a tangible way to worship in our home.