Breaking Free from Abandonment: Finding Hope in God

Suggested Reading: Genesis 21:14-18

I was one year old when my mom left me in my grandma’s care to escape my abusive biological father. I was thirteen when her depression reached its peak, and for a few years while she was healing, my siblings and I were cared for by extended family. By fifteen, she had no choice but to spend weekends working to support us.

Though my mom did her best and brought good into our lives, these gaps left me feeling alone and abandoned as a child. My circumstances shaped a narrative that I would always struggle with abandonment issues. I owned that story, and it brought difficulties in relationships, trust issues, emotional instability, and anxiety.  I believed these challenges would plague me for life. But the truth was, my narrative wasn’t the full picture.

Hagar’s story in the Bible also came with family dysfunction.

The short version of the drama in Genesis 16 begins with Sarah, who was promised a child but took matters into her own hands. She had her husband, Abraham, sleep with her servant, Hagar, who then became pregnant with Ishmael. In her pride, Hagar began to mistreat Sarah (Genesis 16:4). Later, when Sarah gave birth to Isaac, she sent Hagar away.

Hagar became the first single mom in scripture. Though Abraham sent her off with bread and a skin of water, it soon ran out. Desperate and not knowing what to do, she laid her son down, unable to bear watching him die. She sat opposite him, lifted up her voice, and wept. It seemed as though Hagar was abandoned, left with nothing but a pile of troubles she couldn’t escape.

But then, the Lord sent an angel to tell Hagar:

“Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is… Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went and filled the skin with water and gave the lad a drink.” 

Genesis 21:17-19

It was Hagar’s desperation that led to surrender. Her surrender opened her eyes to provision and reminded her of a promise.

Somewhere along the way, Hagar must have forgotten the promise God made at the beginning of her ordeal.  He had told her that He would greatly multiply her descendants. Even though Ishmael was conceived in sin, God had a plan for his life and would provide for him (Genesis 16:11).

In my own wilderness season, when I cried out to the Lord and surrendered my narrative for His truth, He opened my eyes to see. Even though I was born into a marriage of abuse, God had a plan for my life (Psalm 139).  As I looked back at one, thirteen, fifteen, and beyond I saw His provision. The people who stepped in: family, friends, teachers. The abundance of grace and mercy He gave me, even when I didn’t deserve it. My narrative shifted from abandoned, broken, and helpless to knowing the God who sees.

The truth is, God was always with me. He never left me or forsook me. Now, I live knowing that He is the one who restores what has been damaged or broken. He is the God who makes all things new.

Though my relationship with my mom remains difficult, I do my best to extend grace to her because I, too, am an imperfect mom who has made many mistakes. I have spoken many apologies to my children and will continue to do so. They may carry different wounds from my choices, sins, and life circumstances, but I pray that, as it was for me, it will be for them. When they find themselves in a wilderness of pain, crying out for help, I trust that the God who sees will open their eyes to the truth when they surrender.  His Word is sufficient to meet all their needs. 

I Praise God that because of Him, even when we are victims, we do not have to live like victims.

❓Questions for Reflection

1. Are there any narratives from my past that are keeping me in bondage?
2. In wilderness moments, who do I cry out to?
3. How has God worked in my past, and how is He working in my present?
4. Do I find it difficult to surrender my narrative to the Lord?

🙏🏻 A Prayer

Lord, thank You that You are the God who sees. When I cry out to You and surrender, You open my eyes to see the truth. You reveal Your provision and remind me of the promise that You created me for a purpose. My circumstances or trauma may say I am abandoned, broken, wounded, and hopeless, but the truth is that You are with me. You have the power to heal, restore, and make all things new. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

Breaking Free From Procrastination

 “Delayed obedience is disobedience.”

-Rabbi Greg Hershberg

Suggested Reading: Genesis 19

For many years, I accepted procrastination as a normal part of life, a branch on my vine. I grew up in a culture where arrival times were suggestions, not commitments. I was never taught how to manage my time or set priorities, and focusing felt nearly impossible.  As a result, I left many projects unfinished and abandoned dreams along the way, largely because of my struggles with ADD tendencies. The excuses I used to justify my procrastination were endless.

The truth is, I never considered procrastination to be a sin, until I heard Rabbi Greg Hershberg exhort that even in the smallest of duties the Lord has given us, delayed obedience is disobedience.

Procrastination is willfully putting off something you are supposed to do. It leads to broken promises, a lack of diligence, and missed opportunities.  It’s a sneaky sin, robbing me of blessings and delaying my steps into what God was calling me to do. It caused destruction in my life. Procrastination was a siren I ignored, one that was warning me about deeper heart issues and other sins I was avoiding.

📖 We see the danger of procrastination clearly in the story of Lot, as God saves him from the judgment and destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Before Lot received his warning to leave, God revealed that sin had reached its limit. Lot invited the men (who would ultimately warn him) into his home, only to have the men of the city demand:

“Bring them out to us so that we may have relations with them.” (Genesis 19:5)  The men, believed to be angels, intervened striking the mob with blindness. Then came the clear instruction:

“Whom else have you here? A son-in-law, your sons, and your daughters, and whomever you have in the city, bring them out of the place; for we are about to destroy this place.” (Genesis 19:12)

At first, Lot responded quickly and warned his sons-in-law, but they thought he was joking. Could their reaction have influenced Lot to doubt the urgency of God’s message? Did their disbelief cause him to question God’s messengers? For whatever reason, Lot went to sleep instead of leaving immediately.  Even so, God’s mercy prevailed the next morning, the angels physically seized Lot’s hand and dragged him and his family out of the city.

Like Lot, I too have been given clear instructions from God that I either doubted, ignored, or delayed acting on. But after hearing Rabbi Hershberg’s words, and with God’s help, I’ve started surrendering my excuses to uncover the areas where procrastination is wreaking havoc.

Relationships
People-pleasing caused me to put others’ needs ahead of the priorities God gave me. I overcommitted to people and activities.

I avoided confronting offenses because I hated the messiness of resolving conflict. But ignoring those issues only strained relationships further and robbed both parties of the chance to mature through biblical conflict resolution.

Excuses
“This is just how I am.”
“I was never taught.”
“I’m not good at this.”

These phrases became my security blanket. Although they carried some truth, they also kept me from believing that through the power of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of God I could break free from procrastination.

Lack of Discipline
“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful.” (Hebrews 12:11)

It’s humbling to allow God to continually show me the areas where I lack discipline: caring for my health, managing my time, handling my emotions, and learning to complete tasks before indulging in recreation.

Procrastination may seem harmless, but it produces chaos, overwhelm, discouragement, and relational strain. It has delayed blessings in my physical life, my relationships, and kept me from taking action on what God was calling me to do.  Breaking free from procrastination started with repentance and seeking help when it shows up in my life.

❓Reflection Questions

1. Do I have a clear vision for my life and defined priorities?

2. What decisions or tasks, big or small, have I delayed?

3. In which area of my life am I most prone to procrastinate: home, relationships, work, or health?

4. What consequences or missed opportunities have I already experienced because of procrastination?

5. What’s at the root of my procrastination?

6. What excuses have I used to avoid growing in this area?

🙏🏻 Prayer

Lord, I thank You for Your Word that brings blessing into my life and keeps me from destruction. I repent for the areas where I have allowed procrastination to wreak havoc. I don’t want procrastination to cause me to miss out on what You want to give me or to delay Your will for my life. Please give me a clear vision and clarity about my priorities so I don’t fall into the trap of procrastination. I submit my plans to You and ask You to order my days. In Jesus’ name, Amen.