How to Deal with Cynical Pessimistic People

Are you a cynical person?  

Cynical is defined as believing that people are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity.

Are you a pessimistic person?

Pessimistic is defined as tending to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.

We all are cynical and pessimistic at different points in our lives.  Lord help those who deal with me during these times.  Cynicism isn't a spiritual gift.  Maybe you don't think youre pessimistic but describe yourself as a realist.  Maybe you're not cynical but identify as sarcastic.  Regardless of how it is described, all have negative effects. All of the following give us a license to be lightheartedly hateful without feeling bad.  

Yes, we are supposed to speak the truth but we cannot forget the latter part of that verse.  God's word says to speak the truth in love and when we dig deeper into what love is, it is far from cynicism and pessimism.  Speaking in love involves patience, kindness, without a hint of rude.  

What happens when we are on the receiving end of a cynical and pessimistic person?  How do we handle these conversations?  How do we keep our hearts from being infected? 

1. AVOID REACTING

In Matthew 13:53 Jesus came to his hometown to teach and do miracles but he ran into cynical and pessimistic people.  There was no table throwing or anger in this moment.  He preached and left without reacting to their words.  And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith (v 53).

2. LISTEN 

If you're mature then listen to negativity and find the truth.  Is there truth to the sarcaasm?  Is there truth about the other person in the sarcasm?  Many people cover their fears, jealousy, and disappointment with blame and criticism.  Even if you don't agree with them you can acknowledge and hold up a mirror to their feelings.  Listen without giving solutions and don't fight a battle you can't win.  Point the person to the one who is able to carry all their burdens (Matthew 11:28-30). 

3. TEACH BOUNDARIES 

I don't have a high tolerance for pessimism and I have learned it's important to teach people my boundary.  Sometimes what is best is to step aside and away not just for the other person but also for yourself.  Be direct with your boundaries asking for the conversation to be shifted away from the negativity that isn't paired with solutions or hurtful sarcasm directed at you.  Those who have the ability to listen are like healers for the emotions and it can be draining.  Like Jesus it's important to withdraw and refresh (Luke 5:16).

4. PROTECT YOUR HEART

Cynicism and pessimism are sins that are like a disease.  They can infect and spread from friend to friend and throughout your family members.  Proverbs 4:23-27 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways."

It is easy to be sucked into and find ourselves being cynical also.  When on the receiving end of the negative comments it can be easy to be hurt and bitter.  It's always important to check our heart for either, forgive where needed, and choose to speak the truth in love. 

God doesn't intend for us to be cynical, sarcastic and pessimistic, it is a choice.  In the same way we don't need to tolerate cynicism, pessimism, and hurtful sarcasm in our lives.  

Let us be the light my friends,